"I’m saying this seriously: I don’t think we fit anymore."
Min-seo glanced at the beer I thrust toward her and turned her head away. For the first time in three years, she refused the bottle I offered. The chilled can trembled in my hand, ringing like a steel pipe. August 14, 2023, the university rooftop—our annual beer night. I had resolved: today, without fail.
Just Before Her Lips Met Mine
Min-seo laughed and asked, “What are you getting me for my birthday this year?” I was fooled by that smile. Had I known how easily my desire would leap out, I would have kept my mouth clamped shut.
Yes, confessions always burst out one step later than planned.
“Min-seo, I—”
“What?”
She tilted her head slightly; moonlight slid like liquid silver along her jaw. I closed my eyes and kissed her.
0.8 seconds. The shortest and most dreadful kiss in the world.
Deleting 1,095 Days
‘Why now? It’s too late.’
Min-seo scrubbed her lips with the back of her hand as if wiping something away. In that single motion I saw three years erased in an instant.
“Let’s just… stop seeing each other.”
“You mean stop talking altogether?”
Instead of answering, she pulled out her phone and, one by one, dragged 2,847 photographs into the trash.
Even now, I don’t know whether the photo of us on the Busan beach—taken mid-laugh—still lives or has already died.
Desire Has Always Been Friendship’s Poison
We held each other not because we simply liked the other person, but because of a fixation: no one else must have you.
Only after the kiss did I realize:
What I truly coveted wasn’t her humanity, but the monopoly of having her on “my side.”
Whenever Min-seo talked about her romances, she would add, “You’re different.” She made me feel special, and I mistook that specialness for love. In truth, it was only the power play of “you over any boyfriend.”
Two Almost-True Stories
Ha-jin & Yuna, five-year besties
The night Yuna introduced her new boyfriend, Ha-jin smashed a bottle. With tears and snot streaking her face, Yuna asked, “Why are you the angry one?” Ha-jin screamed inwardly, Because I want to monopolize even your tears. Since then, the label shifted from “besties” to “rivals.” Day 600 of being blocked on social media.
Seung-woo & Do-hyun, seven-year soulmates
After finishing his military service, Seung-woo kissed Do-hyun’s back while scrubbing it at the bathhouse. Do-hyun stared blankly, then laughed it off: “Hey, this… was a mistake, right?” From that day on, Do-hyun left Seung-woo’s messages on read. Seven years vanished in seven seconds, the memory now soaked into the smell of wet tile in a men’s sauna.
Why Is the Forbidden Sweeter?
Psychologist Allensworth on “the twisted sweetness of forbidden desire”:
“People believe the uneatable fruit is the sweetest. In truth, they are intoxicated not by the fruit but by the pleasure of breaking a tamed relationship.”
Perhaps what we truly wanted was not to perfect something already whole, but to hear the sharp crack of glass the moment it shatters.
One Last Question for You
If, that night, you had been in Min-seo’s place—
Would you have dodged the kiss, or, like me, reached for it in desperate hunger?
And if you knew that kiss might blow away your three years—perhaps ten—
would you still
have pressed your lips to hers?